


Your Camellias

by coraloudssssss



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Eventual Happy Ending, Flowers, Hanahaki Disease, Happy, Hope you enjoy, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I kinda relate to some of the things, Kevin is a sad boy, M/M, Multi, Sad, Sappy, Suicidal Thoughts, stan moonbae
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:53:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24206221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coraloudssssss/pseuds/coraloudssssss
Summary: 𝑓𝑙𝑜𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑠 — ❝Camellia flowers, Jacob's favorite type of flower. He didn't know that Kevin was dying because of him. Kevin tries his best to hide it from the other members but fails badly.❞
Relationships: Bae Joonyoung | Jacob/Moon Hyungseo | Kevin
Kudos: 43





	1. Ridiculous Petals

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I'm back, I'm actually re-writing a lot of moonbae fics right now, the ones I've already published are getting redone! So, for May I've decided to publish another moonbae fic, one that I'm proud of!!

~~**Chapter** ~~

~~**1** ~~

Kevin sighed, along with his other members. It was an exhausting day. They were super busy with their new schedule.

“Who is cooking?” Younghoon asked them. “Haknyeon, Juyeon, me and Jacob will cook. Everyone else take a shower!” Sangyeon exclaimed as everyone yelled okay.

“Kev?” 

_Jacob_

The sweet angel boy with the softest voice you have ever heard. 

Was this Kevin description of him, yes, yes it was. Was Kevin in love with him?

_**Well** _

He doesn't know. His heart beats fast every time Jacob would wave or playfully flirt with him on Vlive. 

Was this love he was feeling?

Yes, it certainly was.

But Kevin's indecisive mind made it difficult. He acknowledged that the older was possibly flirting with him. The raven hair boy would dismiss it and say it was flattering and nothing else.

“Kevin, you okay? You've been zoning out for a bit.” Jacob tapped Kevin on the shoulder. “Huh? Oh, yeah, sorry I was just thinking.” Kevin gave Jacob a small smile. Jacob gave him a worrying look. 

Why? 

Because Kevin has been downhill once, almost ended up killing himself if it wasn't for Jacob who calmed him down.

“I'm fine Jacob, just go cook the food.” Kevin smiled and went to take a shower before all the hot water was gone.

“Is he okay Jacob?” Sangyeon looked at the younger worriedly. He was truly worried for the raven hair boy. 

“Yeah, he is. I'm just cautious, because what if he does it again?” Jacob ran his fingers through his hair. It was a little habit that grew onto him once Kevin started to do it more than frequently around the older.

“We all are. It was really scary.” Juyeon reassured Jacob with a pat on his back and continued to cook for the members. 

Kevin finally relaxed when the hot water hit him. 

It made the pain he was feeling, and the negative thoughts that always were trapped inside of his mind go away. 

He really appreciated how caring the members were. He enjoyed every little moment that they spent with him, just to make sure their happy Kevin was okay. He was glad that they cared and they were worried, but he was _fine_ or at least he thought he was.

After ten minutes or so, he felt this strange pain in his throat, as he continued to think about Jacob and everything that he had been through. 

He started to cough as a redish, whitish Camellia petal fell out of his mouth. Known as the Peppermint Camellia Petals. 

He turned off the shower and stared at the petal. 

_Did a flower petal just come out of me?_

He knew what this was, but didn't want to believe it.

It was Hanahaki. A one-sided love. 

“You have to be fucking kidding me.” Kevin mumbled as he threw it in the trash. He got dressed as he went out there and sat in the chair and waited for the boys to finish cooking. 

He was zoning out again.

Too tired. Tired of everything, tired of having this pain on his chest, tired of being alive.

He just wanted to _die._

“Kevin?” The angel was back. The sweetest voice ever made him feel _him_ again, made _him_ feel safe again.

He opened his eyes to see Jacob sitting there beside him as Juyeon and Younghoon kept an eye on him.

“I'm fine Jacob. I promise.” Kevin looked at him. “We know that Kevin, but we are still worried. We're all scared you're gonna pull the same thing!” Juyeon exclaimed. 

Kevin fiddle with his hands, not trying to get riled up, “I-just-I'm still trying to have positive thoughts, but all that comes up is negative stuff and I don't know why…” Kevin mumbled as he avoided the worried looks. 

“Why don't you tell me some of them? Me and you can have a talk about it?” Jacob gave him a smile and tapped his arm twice.

Those taps made him smile.

Two taps meant 'let me take care of you.'

He liked when Jacob saw how upset he was when no one saw it. 

Kevin eventually gave up on trying to hide how he felt and stood up with the older as they both walked to his room.

Jacob gave the guys a look, a look, that reassured all of them.

If it was one person who can get Kevin into a positive state it would be Jacob. 

Jacob carefully shut Kevin's door and sat down by Kevin. 

“So? What's up?” Jacob questioned. Kevin just shrugged and laid on his pillow, taking something out of his nightstand.

Jacob immediately grabbed it. “Kevin.” Jacob pulled the razor blade from Kevin's hand. 

“I was gonna give it to you anyways.” Kevin chuckled softly. Jacob held out his hand, signaling Kevin to give him his hand. 

Kevin groaned and let Jacob lift up his sleeve. 

A few visible cuts were there, most of them were scared already. “When did you do these?” Jacob gently traced over them, making Kevin winced at the pain. “Recently.” Kevin mumbled out. 

“Kevin, I told you to tell me when you're done with everything. You need to know that I'm here for you.” Jack spoke softly to the younger.

He knew how Kevin gets when they talk about this _**problem**_

“I'm sorry, it's been hard to open up and i-” Kevin was cut off. “It's hard to open up to me? Kevin we're the closest.” Jacob rubbed Kevin's knee.

There goes Kevin's heart.

_Pain._

That's all he felt and that's when he should push Jacob away before the aching flower feeling comes back.

“I know that but I don't want to put that burden on you. I never do.” Kevin grabbed Jacob's hand and put it on the bed. “. . .Can we just stop talking about this? You need to shower anyway and I'm just wasting your time. . .” Kevin sighed and looked at his nightstand. 

“First you are never wasting my time. I'm here for you and the team.” Jacob gave the raven hair boy a comforting look. All Kevin did was return the beautiful smile. 

_But you need to leave before I cough up these ridiculous petals. . ._

Do you have any more of these?” Jacobs asked. Kevin shook his head. “That should be my last one.” Kevin got under his covers, trying to pretend the cough that was coming up his throat wasn't there.

“Should? Kinda concerning.” Jacob chuckled as a smile was placed on Kevin's face. He nodded, watching Jacob shut his door.

He finally could breathe again.

_Do I need to stay away from him?_

_I don't want to. . ._


	2. Torn Off Petals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another update! Hope you guys enjoy, if you want to request a fic, please do so!!

~~**Chapter**~~

~~**2** ~~

“Find anything?” Sangyeon asked. Jacob nodded, holding up Kevin's razor blade. 

“Did he do some more!?” Younghoon's eyes widened, but he whispered _something_ that they couldn't understand.

“Yeah, just a few, and they won't leave marks though.” Jacob threw it in the trash.

He hated when Kevin pushed him away. Ever since that incident they've been drifting.

It made Jacob upset. They were the best of buddies. When Kevin opens up and once he does he closes himself off. It's like Jacob is a stranger again.

Kevin coughed up more petals after Jacob left. It was five that came out of his throat. 

5 more, what look like torn off petals. 

It started to worry Kevin. “Shit. What am I supposed to do?” Kevin mumbled, throwing them in the trash. 

He had read about this. It was a rare disease and somehow he caught it because he was in love with,

His best friend. 

And it hurt him. He didn't want to tell him because he knew Jacob wasn't gay. He knew that if he told him Jacob isn't gonna have the angel side to show anymore. 

He was in love with him a whole lot and that's why he zones out half of the time. He thought about him and his best friend.

The guy who kept him sane while going crazy. The guy who he spent hours with because he was so close with him. The guy that he could discuss Candian things with and who would understand him. 

He would miss that.

He would miss his best friend. He doesn't wanna to ruin it if it all goes wrong.

He would avoid the question; Is that why you're avoiding him?

Because half of it was true. He was avoiding and pushing Jacob away because of how deeply Kevin likes him. And now he is just realizing this and starts to feel the pain in his throat again.

He coughs up petals in his trash can again. He decides to cover them with paper towels. He laid on his bed and waited for dinner to be called.


	3. Pain. . .

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kevin was now feeling pain from his best friend and it's driving him insane.

~~**Chapter** ~~

**~~3~~ **

Kevin woke up, feeling good for once. He had the energy as well as a good dream. Maybe from eating well.

He got up pretty early and got ready for the 6 hour practice that they had in 2 hours. 

Kevin made coffee for himself and decided just to chill on his phone. 

“You're up bright and early.” The soft voice has to return again.

And there it was  _ pain _ .

Kevin smiled at the older and nodded. “I had goodnight rest.” Kevin continued to scroll on his phone. 

Jacob smiled at him as he started to cook eggs. “Do you want to talk about anything since no one is up?” Jacob asked the raven hair boy. 

Kevin shook his head, answering the older boy, trying to avoid where the conversation was heading, “I'm fine Jacob. I really am.” Jacob sighed with Kevin's answer. “But I'm worried. A lot, if I'm being honest. You keep dazing out and I...I… it brings me back to when-I'm just scared.” Jacob poured out his feelings. 

Tears in his eyes threatening to fall.

Kevin's face softened at Jacob. Pain was there in his throat.

“Jacob. It happened by accident. That was just caused by a panic attack.” Kevin tried to make the situation better as Jacob continued to cook his eggs.

“How do I know you won't have another one!? And why would you buy them in the first place!?” Jacob's voice rose a bit, and Kevin was trying to not cough up these petals that were coming up his throat.

Kevin lowered his eyes, he felt so bad for the older. Making him suffer like this was never his intention. 

Jacob sighed and wiped his tears, “I'm just worried, okay? I'm sorry I asked all the time because I'm truly worried. I care a lot about you Kevin.” Jacob turned around to see Kevin was not there.

Of course he wasn't. He was too busy coughing up the petals. 

Jacob frowned before continuing to cook his eggs.

“Hey, hyung. Are you okay?” Eric yawned, clearly he was just waking up. “Yeah. I was just talking to Kevin.” Jacob smiled at the younger. “Where did he go?” Eric asked.

“To the bathroom I think.” Jacob poured eggs on Eric's plate as well as his. 

“Oh.” Eric said as he blankly ate his eggs. 

It was a small bud Kevin coughed up. “What the hell!?” Kevin saw his blood on it too. He decided to flush it down the toilet and cleaned up the mess.

He has to stay away from Jacob. And he felt utterly guilty.

…

Practice came and went by quick. Well for Kevin it did. They improved a lot since they first started. 

Kevin had told them that he was gonna use the bathroom. As he did he cough up more small buds. There were 3 buds. He sighed deeply as his voice sounded a bit more raspy. 

He doesn't want to have the surgery, he wants to keep the feelings of his crush. But it was hurting to do so. 

He hurried up before they got suspicious of him. 

“You okay, hyung?” Kevin nodded as Eric and him walked back to the dorm.

This was gonna kill him.

Should he tell someone ?

No, he shouldn't, or he just didn't want to.


End file.
